2006 has turned out to be one of the most interesting Football World Cups in history. Australia have made it through for the first time in history, Brazil failed to score more than a single goal against Croatia (I’m always happy to see Brazil play poorly), and the USA were even close to beating Italy!England’s first match against Paraguay was disgraceful. The only goal we managed was not even our own but one that bounced off the head of the Paraguayan captain in the 3rd minute. In the remaining 87 minutes, we failed to score anything and so the score remained at full time, 1-0.Our second match against Trinidad and Tobago was slightly better. We created more opportunities, but failed to exploit them and missed direct shots such as Crouch’s half-arsed side bicycle kick and Owen’s wide shot that caused him to crumble to the floor. A near disaster occured when the ball was headed into the English goal only to be thwacked out at the last second by John Terry. Hats off to him for that. In the end we got there, though, with two last minute goals courtesy of Crouch and Gerrard. 2-0. Better than 1-0, but come on – we’re playing against a bloody island in the middle of the Caribbean whose entire population probably consists of their football team. I expected the pitch to be littered with their entrails after we were through with them.

Against Sweden, we dominated the first half with Joe Cole scoring an absolutely smashing goal from 35 yards curving towards the goal and helped into the corner by Swedish goalkeeper, Isaksson, who could only get his fingers to it. As for the second half, all I can say is that the Swedish coach must’ve given one hell of a pep talk in that changing room because everything fell to pieces. We could no longer defend properly, conceding corner after corner and gradually having our defence grinded by the Swedes until finally it gave way as Allback scored from a fatal corner shot. At this point, I was beginning to worry. A loss to Sweden and we would be facing Germany next – and no one wants to fight the dog in its own territory. But then a header from Gerrard had me convinced we would finally beat Sweden after 38 years. But we were denied that glory by Larsson who scored a goal in the 89th minute. The 89th minute?! He did it just to spite us… Bastard…

On the bright side, we’re the top of Group B with 2 wins and 1 draw, and we face Ecuador (not Germany) on Sunday.

On the not-so-bright-side, we have 2 poor wins and 1 draw, Owen is out of the tournament, and to put it bluntly, we’re heading home on Sunday if we suck as much as we did against Sweden in the second half.

I now know why God put us on this Earth…To experience events such as Desert Rock, Dubai’s annual rock fest, where famous metal/rock bands from all over the world gather in, literally, the middle of the desert, to deliver a whole day and night of body-pounding, heart-wrenching, adrenaline-pumping, and ear-splitting music.Picture, if you can, the appearance of a vacant stage in the dead of night. All is silent save the murmuring of the crowd. Suddenly, you hear the amplified plucking of an electric guitar string. The single note resonates throughout the arena. You hear it too, and the entire audience roars in unison as you find yourself in a field of hands outstretched towards the night sky.

Last night, the reply to this roar was for the members of Megadeth to walk onto the stage, one by one. Again, the crowd shot into applause to acknowledge their entrance.

A few friends and I were in the middle of the crowd when all this happened. When Megadeth began their first song, the already over-excited members of the audience started to shove in all directions. What I felt, though, was as if the entire crowd were against me, and intent on squeezing the life out of me. I was slowly forced in one direction after another, being crushed and then released in a repeating fashion. I was slowly suffocating and had to pace my breathing, all the while trying to hold on to my friends’ hands to be sure not to lose them to the grunting beast of a crowd.

Soon enough, the squeezing eased off, as everyone had something else to hold their attention: mosh pits – you’ve got to love them. I can tell you there is nothing more satisfying then diving into a circle of drunken morons and sending one flying, only to watch him be shoved back in by the grinning members of the outer edge of the circle for some more fun. The only time it gets nasty is when you find that YOU are the poor bastard being flung about, and rammed into oblivion, eventually ending up on the floor awaiting the stampede of the second wave of moshers.

A note of caution, though – I would recommend at least half a dozen shots of vodka before you engage in any such actions that could lead to possible injury (at least that way, you have the alcohol to blame for your idiocy).

Other bands to grace the stage included Testament, Reel Big Fish, and a local band named Mannikind. Saxon, an English heavy metal band, were meant to come but were cancelled, unfortunately, due to their song, Crusader, which conflicted with… well… the Arab world. A bloody shame, though, since I couldn’t care less what the lyrics to these songs are. I don’t even listen to this type of music, but I will admit that when it comes to performances like this, you can’t beat ‘em.

Long live Desert Rock!

The Phillips Jazz Festival is an annual event, lasting three nights, which has been taking place in Dubai for the past three years.Out of lack of anything else to do, I went with a few friends this year. I had severely underestimated how great a time could be had.

I went there on Thursday night, and, unexpectedly, on Friday night as well. I received a free ticket for Thursday night, and, to my shame, snuck in using a friend’s 3 night pass on Friday. To silence my guilt, I spent the 150 dirhams I was going to spend on the ticket buying drinks and food for my mates.

Now… the music!

There was a mixture of tunes, not only limited to jazz: we were entertained by singers, saxophones, pianos, bass guitars, harmonicas, violins, trombones.

The special finales of each night consisted of a famous singer or group. Kool & The Gang appeared at the end of the second night and put on a spectacular show of dance moves and singing, to which the crowd replied by getting off their seats and dancing themselves.

Although not as wild as the second night, Roger Hodgson (lead singer and song writer of Supertramp) regaled us with famous songs such as ‘Dreamer’, ‘It’s Raining Again’, ‘The Logical Song’ and ‘Breakfast in America’. Although, what can’t be forgotten is when he got up after a song and asked ‘if there were any Brits in the crowd’. There was an eruption of applause and whistling, and shouting (of which I was most certainly a part of). After the noise died down, he smiled and said, ‘Yep, I felt there were quite a few here’.

What I found most amusing were the laughable encores that took place. After each group’s ‘last’ song is played, the singer pretends to leave and the crowd, drugged by such a stunning performance, chants ‘More! More! More!’. The commentator then comes on and excites the crowd to an even louder level of chanting. Moments pass… and then the singer runs back on stage to miraculously perform yet another flawless, supposedly unrehearsed, song!

All in all, I had a bloody great time (and it certainly beats studying for a Maths exam). You can be sure that I’ll be there next year.

During the afternoon of New Year’s eve, the gang and I spent our time forging fake dates on our passports and obtaining false ID’s in preparation for the party. What a bloody waste of time and money. No ID’s were required even to get alcohol.We got lost on the way there, but found it in the end: past a green wired gate straight into the middle of the desert. It was about 9:30 PM when we arrived and we got our 250 dirham tickets at the door. Bit of a waste, but it was New Year’s Eve!

While walking to the food and drinks tents, I heard laughter coupled with a few drunken shouts. I turned around to discover someone slinging his arm over my shoulder and introducing himself. Sure enough, it was a group of Englishman already totally smashed before the party had even begun. That’s the spirit, lads!

The chap who had his hand around me was called Christophe. He seemed like an amiable character and I struck a conversation with him and his mates. They were from the Dubai American Academy (DAA). There were also people from Sharjah and Dubai Choueifat, AUS, and ASD that I met there.

Anyway, on to the more important details – the booze. There wasn’t much of an interesting selection, just the common spirits Absolut Vodka, Gordon’s Dry Gin, Jack Daniel’s Whiskey, god knows what tequila, and Heineken and Bacardi Breezers on the beer side. At least that’s all I saw – the guys who wasted there money (you’ll see why in the next paragraph) on the 500 dhs tickets might have had a better selection.

Spirits were 30 dirhams each, beers 20. I managed to spend about 150 dirhams before the booze tent was raided by an army of drunken adolescents (see attached picture) and so ended the selling of alcohol that night. Alas, I wasn’t fortunate enough to have been there to join them. One of those drunkards, though, was an Englishman who was happy to partake in the sharing of his fine bottle of alcohol (can’t even remember what it was) with a fellow countrymen.

That kept me going on and off the dance floor until about 2:00 AM when I took a well-deserved rest on a freezing slab of concrete outside one of the dance areas.

Towards the end of the party at 3:00 AM, we wound up in a tent shouting utter rubbish at the passers-by.

On the way out, I truly felt how bloody cold it was. I was wearing a shirt, and I was FREEZING. It was 12 degrees celsius out there, but we were having too much damn fun to notice.